As ever, an excellent interview and a fantastic challenge. I really found this one tricky.
Pop over to:
I only hope I have managed to do it justice.
Pop over to:
Rosa Frei & Poetry Challenge
to see for yourself, you don't know what your missing 'til you do!
A big 'Thank You' to Rosa Frie for allowing us the use of this stunning picture.
I only hope I have managed to do it justice.
Shrouded Pain
Shrouded against the flensing breath
of the sand-bearing arid gale
which carries desiccating death
from which the bravest often quail.
Protection, too, in those hard eyes,
that judge’s gaze so sharp and clear,
which pierces through soft urban lies
and sees the shamed and trembling fear.
That haunted look holds sadness, too,
with memories and burdens there,
of times that have been suffered through,
experience not ours to share.
Pen, you had me with the first line of "flensing breath." Wow. You capture the emotional complexity of that deep, intense stare. Wonderfully written challenge response!
ReplyDeletePen this is a perfectly wonderful write. The architecture and flow, rhyme scheme all spot on and your message is breathtaking! ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteSuperb and wonderfully matching the mood of the image! Thank you very much for sharing these words!
ReplyDeletenice reflection of the mood of the picture
ReplyDeletepen this is a delicious look into those eyes...tight write...which pierces through soft urban lies
ReplyDeleteand sees the shamed and trembling fear...my fav lines...
I concur with all the above comments. Great command of technique in the construction of your piece but more than that, an incisive exploration of the character in the image.
ReplyDeleteReally nice use of words -- "dessicating death" -- and the extracting of so much from his eyes. Well done.
ReplyDelete'shrouded against' but
ReplyDelete'Protection, too, in those hard eyes,
that judge’s gaze so sharp and clear'
insightful Pen of this character image.
~ Lovely construction of words and insightfulness ~ Lib ~ @Libithina
Beautiful...love how you picked up the haunted look and protection in his eyes...Brilliant! Loved this...
ReplyDeletebrilliant response to the challenge. you are talented.
ReplyDeletelovely.you captured her gaze perfectly
ReplyDeleteSolid, emotive-but-balanced work.
ReplyDelete