Well, I tried.
So here’e the Poetry Form challenge for today~ transform one or both of the following poems into shadorma form.
My response to Rainy Day Jersey by Dustus. - Sorry Dustus!
So here’e the Poetry Form challenge for today~ transform one or both of the following poems into shadorma form.
My response to Rainy Day Jersey by Dustus. - Sorry Dustus!
Out of time,
coffee drinking scribe
fits no more,
while rain pours,
short on money, sleep and dreams.
full of tortured hope.
Sorry? That's pretty damn good. Just woke up this morning to read this one, and I'm kind of freaked out because (and I don't know how you did this) but your first line references one of my favorite CDs; as did the original writing of Rainy Day Jersey with the Springsteen reference.
ReplyDeleteThis poem kind of got me thinking about life of artist, they create a lot but get almost nothing out of it. Great shadorma.
ReplyDeleteA raw description of a persona in identity crisis! Terrific!
ReplyDeletetortured hope...yeah i feel this one...nice...artists catch raw emo often in empathy and it can be over welming..
ReplyDeleteAnd they say there is no such thing as coincidence.
ReplyDeleteRainy day coffee drinker?! We have a club going here Pen lol you did really well!
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job with this Shadorma! I think you were right on in your response... loved it!
ReplyDeleteThis was excellent. As everyone said. I think if you write several you'll find as everyone has said, it begins to feel very natural while keeping the quality of free verse. I like it a lot and really like what you did with the original keeping the same tone and the same feeling. Gay
ReplyDeleteI think it was perfect - and that doesn't even include how well done it was a Shadorma
ReplyDeleteLoved it!!!
Loved this!
ReplyDeleteaeons