This is my blog (now there is a surprise!). I will be sticking in it poetry, prose, random musings, things that take my fancy and more than likely lots of pictures of cats. I hope you find something to amuse and/or interest you here.

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

which came first...

Two weeks ago I had a migraine.  Not one of my asymptomatic 3 month headache jobs but the full blown, multi-sensory experience with flashing lights, hypersensitivity to noise, tactile distortion, dizziness and nausea. 

Fortunately, after a few hours of what one of my college friends insisted on referring to as 'shouting for Hughie down the big white telephone', I managed to keep the medication down long enough for it to kick in.  After that, apart from a tendency to walk into things and stagger a bit, it was almost normal working.  Okay, my mouth and brain were out of sync. and I still wasn't entirely sure what vertical was but I could manage.
One week later and I was still wobbling around.  The best way to describe it is that it felt like my brain had turned to liquid.  When I moved my head, I was fine until I stopped, then my brain sloshed back and forth like coffee in a cup until it reached equilibrium.  Fed up of this, I went to the doctor.

After prodding, testing, looking in my ears and eyes, taking my blood pressure (normal), she chirps brightly: 'a virus'.

So I get seasickness pills(??) and the usual instructions to drink plenty of fluids and rest.  Sorry, lady, I have a job I need to keep and I can't afford time off at the moment. Work it is.
So, another week down the line and I am still in the same state.  I go back to the doctor and what do I get as a diagnosis this time?
Look,doc, I am wobbling around.  Customers are telling me I should take more water with it.  I work in a job where I am not allowed to think about alcohol for eight hours before going on duty, let alone drink it.  I could get tested for drugs and alcohol if anyone has reason to think I have had a drink.  To be found to have had a drink is instant dismissal, no pension, no appeal.  Being thought to be under the influence is not good.  On top of that, I am finding it very difficult to read computer screens or paper and my co-ordination is completely shot.  I struggle to form a complete coherent sentence and am so light sensitive I tried to put clip on sunglasses on my specs when I already had a pair on.


Carrying on from yesterday, another quick Shadorma

 Am I?

Holding hands
now reality
of being
we are here
but when you are not by me
do I still exist?

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