Sitting in the café and the world is full smiles
Kids, parents, grandparents, lover and friends
Meeting and laughing, happiness abounds
The snap. I'm down.
There are shutters between me and the world
I'm trapped in a hall of mirrors, lost in confusions thrall,
Everything reflected and distorted as I look round.
The smiles are turned to jeers, the laughter notes turn false,
I no longer see happiness, no longer feel a part of thing
I'm isolated, set apart and no-one seems to know,
They can not see the forcefield that traps me here.
I don't know how to break free or how long I'll be trapped
My mood swings are no pendulum with regular forward and back.
It's an emotional roller coaster, each turn and drop a jerk
And every climb back up again a slow ratcheting process.
Then at the top, that breathless pause, that sense of holding on
How long will I stay there before I plunge again?
Will one day I miss a twist and fly of into oblivion?
How descriptive of that dark and lonely place from which you swear there is no escape. I was there when I came back from Vietnam,and it took almost 40yrs of struggle and drug addiction before I was able to break into the sunshine.Your words are so very inspiring.
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