This is my blog (now there is a surprise!). I will be sticking in it poetry, prose, random musings, things that take my fancy and more than likely lots of pictures of cats. I hope you find something to amuse and/or interest you here.

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

What makes a friend?

I was feeling very low the other day when I logged on to Facebook.  When I went to my home page I found it full of foul language, sexual innuendos and derogatory comments about others.  Had I been hacked?  No, this was 'normal' chat between some of me 'friends' and some of their own friends who I don't know.  I don't like it.  I don't want to face this sort of thing when I log in.
  After much thought I decided to remove these people from my list of Facebook friends.  Does this mean we are no longer friends?  I don't as yet know since I am not at work and have not seen any of them in real life yet.  Have I emailed them to talk about it?  Again no, for 2 reasons.
1/  Have they even noticed?  Looking back, only 1 of these 'friends' has actually written on my wall, messaged me of involved me in any way in the last 6 months.

2/ If they have noticed and take exception to it I am enough of a coward to want to leave it until I have to face it rather than invite a barrage of comment when I am trying to relax.

I suffered a nervous breakdown 2 years ago, aggrevated by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after an incident at work I never emotionally resolved properly.  Since that time I have opened up more and made more friends.  Strangely, most of my new very good friends are people I have only met in this strange virtual world we now have, yet I find I am closer to them than to many of the people I share my real life with, most of whom didn't even notice I was ill and some of whom still think I made it all up.  A few people even stopped being my friend at that time because I was 'crazy' and worse, i didn't try to hide  it or pretend it has never happened.  I mention it in public!  I still suffer from depression and anxiety and will talk about mental health issues in meetings at work!  Shock, horror!  I might run amok with a knife or a shotgun next you know!

So, what makes a friend?  Shared experiences or similar reactions to similar experiences.  Working together or talking together.  Sharing lifes troubles or lending an ear to them?


  1. a friend accepts as true what you tell the until proven wrong. With acceptance comes understanding and compassion.Disagreement may happen,but forgiveness for hurt feelings lurks cose behind.Don't give up on friendship whether in person or in the virtual world,it's a lot like love-if you give it you will receive it in return.Glad your on my friends list.

  2. Thanks Richard, you definately remain high on mine.

  3. I do agree with you Penny...there is a certain vulnerability and protection one can have virtually