Today

Alarm went off.
I hit it.
Alarm went off again.
I hit it again, knocked the clock on the floor and had to get out of bed to switch the dratted thing off.
Cranked eyelids open and staggered into bathroom.
Stepped on cat.  Wish he wouldn't sleep in the shower.
Got tangled in shower curtain and ended up face first in the sink with the shower curtain firmly hanging on to my left leg.
Found towel and got face dry enough to see.
Staggered round bathroom trying to find specs.  Fell over cat who was walking round me trying to get me to feed him.
Remembered I hadn't put specs on so staggered back into bedroom to find them.  After ten minutes found them under the bed where I must has knocked them when I hit the alarm.
Staggered downstairs, narrowly missing falling over cat.
Gained two scratches separating cats who were facing off in the doorway.
Staggered though to kitchen and skidded on mouse.
Closer inspection proves it was a very old toy mouse with artificial fur.  Phew.
Filled kettle and plugged it in.
Fed cats.
Fed the next lot of cats.
Fed the first lot of cats with the stuff the second lot wouldn't eat and vice-versa.
Stared blankly at kettle for five minutes waiting for it to boil.
Switched kettle on.
Lifted boiling kettle and went to fill the mugs.
Put the kettle down and got the mugs out of the cupboard.
Put tea bag in one cup and coffee in the other.
Added water.
Added milk.
Took both mugs upstairs.
Stood outside Mums bedroom trying to work out which mug held her tea.
Took tea into Mum.
Took coffee back downstairs and sat down.
Took large swig of coffee.
Spat large swig of coffee back into mug.  Went and added sweeetner.

Look out work, here I come...