The morning was so young and still
The heavy air was cold,
My love went out to face the day
Across our new threshold.
Our car was standing in the drive,
The key turned easily,
The engine set in motion then
The things that came to be.
I didn't rise to say farewell,
My bed was soft and warm,
There was nothing to show this day
Would differ from the norm.
The road was dark and sheathed with ice,
The tyres were rather worn,
And at the sharp turn in the lane
My nightmare world was born.
The mangled wreck is in the lake
My dreams are in the ground,
My heart is broken into shards
My love was maimed and drowned.
My love came home one final time,
Dressed in his wedding suit,
He rests now in a wooden bed,
My joy forever mute.
This is my attempt at a response to the One Stop Poetry Form Monday.
I appreciate feedback, without it imporvement is difficult. Thanks.
Gosh I loved the tangible sadness in this. Gorgeous write and fitting to the form
ReplyDeleteYou write this and worry you arent good enough ?
ReplyDeleteUnbeleivable ! What a great write !
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ReplyDeleteI've got a sneaky secret, I was an amateur folk singer when I was younger.
ReplyDeletedont have very much ability with poetry but I believe you have nothing to worry about when it comes to poetry.I really am going to enjoy reading what you will write in the future.
ReplyDelete...beautiful...breathtaking...tragic...
ReplyDeletea marvelously sad ballad
damn. damn. you've got me from the start. I beg to argue with the "this is my attempt. . ." for this is NOT, and I reiterate, NOT an attempt, penny! this is ballad in true nature an form and a wonderful job. your folk singing background of simple ballad verses shines through with every well-written word :) thanks for such great effort with my favorite form.
ReplyDeletebummy / monty