This is my blog (now there is a surprise!). I will be sticking in it poetry, prose, random musings, things that take my fancy and more than likely lots of pictures of cats. I hope you find something to amuse and/or interest you here.

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Fighting Post Traumatic Stress - A Personal Battle.

When you died I grieved.
Not for myself but for your kin.
But a seed was planted in my soul
And found safe ground therein.
A seed of self destruction
That grew so gently there
I never even noticed
The encroaching despair.

Until one day it flowered
And nearly destroyed me
For I knew that I am not
The person others see.
I'm told that I am kind
And helpful all the time
But I know the selfish me
And feel my hidden grime.

I know that anger flourishes
Deep within my heart
In all my feelings of that day
Anger plays its part.
I did not even know you
Yet as I watched you die
You stole away a part of me
And I lived on, a lie.

Each morning I remember
Each day I face the pain
For what I was before
I can never be again
Each day I fight again
With that bitter seed
That wraps around my soul
Like emotional bindweed. 

Posted for http://onestoppoetry.com/2011/03/one-shot-poetry-wednesday-celebrating-our-36th-week.html#comment-7045
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  1. Aww Penny... I can feel your pain :(

  2. I can feel it too.. Beautiful!!

  3. Thanks folks. This is a daily fight.

  4. emotional bindweed...good words...poignant

  5. whew...intense but relatable...the losing of someone and how that grows inside us changing everything...nicely played...

  6. it's worth fighting this good fight...honest and poignant write

  7. Penny, you capture such an echoing lament of despair. Deep poem. Intense.