Fighting Post Traumatic Stress - A Personal Battle.

When you died I grieved.
Not for myself but for your kin.
But a seed was planted in my soul
And found safe ground therein.
A seed of self destruction
That grew so gently there
I never even noticed
The encroaching despair.

Until one day it flowered
And nearly destroyed me
For I knew that I am not
The person others see.
I'm told that I am kind
And helpful all the time
But I know the selfish me
And feel my hidden grime.

I know that anger flourishes
Deep within my heart
In all my feelings of that day
Anger plays its part.
I did not even know you
Yet as I watched you die
You stole away a part of me
And I lived on, a lie.

Each morning I remember
Each day I face the pain
For what I was before
I can never be again
Each day I fight again
With that bitter seed
That wraps around my soul
Like emotional bindweed. 




Posted for http://onestoppoetry.com/2011/03/one-shot-poetry-wednesday-celebrating-our-36th-week.html#comment-7045

 

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