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This is my blog (now there is a surprise!). I will be sticking in it poetry, prose, random musings, things that take my fancy and more than likely lots of pictures of cats. I hope you find something to amuse and/or interest you here.

Tuesday 8 March 2011

Fighting Post Traumatic Stress - A Personal Battle.



When you died I grieved.
Not for myself but for your kin.
But a seed was planted in my soul
And found safe ground therein.
A seed of self destruction
That grew so gently there
I never even noticed
The encroaching despair.

Until one day it flowered
And nearly destroyed me
For I knew that I am not
The person others see.
I'm told that I am kind
And helpful all the time
But I know the selfish me
And feel my hidden grime.

I know that anger flourishes
Deep within my heart
In all my feelings of that day
Anger plays its part.
I did not even know you
Yet as I watched you die
You stole away a part of me
And I lived on, a lie.

Each morning I remember
Each day I face the pain
For what I was before
I can never be again
Each day I fight again
With that bitter seed
That wraps around my soul
Like emotional bindweed. 





Posted for http://onestoppoetry.com/2011/03/one-shot-poetry-wednesday-celebrating-our-36th-week.html#comment-7045
 
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7 comments:

  1. Aww Penny... I can feel your pain :(

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  2. I can feel it too.. Beautiful!!

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  3. Thanks folks. This is a daily fight.

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  4. emotional bindweed...good words...poignant

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  5. whew...intense but relatable...the losing of someone and how that grows inside us changing everything...nicely played...

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  6. it's worth fighting this good fight...honest and poignant write

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  7. Penny, you capture such an echoing lament of despair. Deep poem. Intense.

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